THE DAILY RANIL Formerly The Daily CBK Registered as a Snoozepaper 12th June 2002 RANIL DOES WONDERS! Today Ranil performed great wonders like he did the day before and the day before that. Nothing else happened in the country except Ranil. Tomorrow Ranil will be performing more wonders. Today Ranil performed great wonders like he did the day before and the day before and the day after. Nothing else happened in the country except Ranil. Tomorrow Ranil will be performing more wonders. On other pages: More Ranil! Tomorrow Ranil will be performing more wonders. A Picture of Ranil! Pic: Aryadasa Pandamsekera/Rotters More pics of Ranil on other pages! Financial News: SriLanka Stockmarket soars thanks to Ranil! FTSE crashes through 5000mark without Ranil! Nikkei Index down! Ranil to visit Japan. London Gold prices soar after Ranil's visit! FOREIGN NEWS: New Delhi: India and Pakistan Call Off War After Ranil's Visit to India! Washington DC: FBI and CIA arrest al-Queda suspect before Ranil's visit! Rome: Ailing Pope wants to meet Ranil! London: Queen to visit Ranil! California: Bill Gates "Flattered" that Ranil uses Windows tm! Editorial RANIL IS GOD! Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, RANIL, RANIL, more Ranil, RANIL! RANIL!Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, RANIL, RANIL, more Ranil, RANIL! RANIL!Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, RANIL, RANIL, more Ranil, RANIL! Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, RANIL, RANIL, more Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, RANIL, RANIL, more Ranil, RANIL! RANIL!Ranil, RANIL! RANIL!RANIL!Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, RANIL, RANIL, more Ranil, RANIL! RANIL!Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, even more RANIL, Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, RANIL, RANIL, more Ranil, RANIL! RANIL!Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, RANIL, RANIL, even more Ranil, RANIL! RANIL!RANIL, more Ranil, RANIL! RANIL!Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, RANIL, RANIL, more Ranil, RANIL! RANIL!Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, RANIL, RANIL, more Ranil, Ranil, Ranil, RANIL, RANIL, more RANIL, even more RANIL,even more On other pages: Features page: Why I like Ranil! by Ranil's Brother. More Ranil! Why Ranil is our greatest leader! by Professor Sven Helgarranilson. Poems about Ranil by Malini Ranildevaditya Why Buddhists like Ranil by Ven. Ranilgama Wickremagñana Thero. Pictures of Elephants by Ranilpaksha Pandamarachchi Why Tamils Like Ranil by Ponna Aiya Ranilingam. Our Heritage: Elephants of SriLanka. Why Muslims Like Ranil by Al Haj Mohamed al Raniluffadeen. Ranil The Rainman. A Biography (Previously published as Ranil The Bogeyman) by SCN Why Catholics like Ranil by the Very Rev Ranilius Marcus Bishop. Crossword Puzzle is on page 2 Why Burghers like Ranil by Bulto Ranilmann-Jansz Flattering Cartoon by Wickremasoma Win A Parliament Seat Competition! Tell us why you love Ranil and you could win a seat at the next election! Published by the State Controlled Newspapers of SriLanka in conjunction with the Government. We promote the freedom of the press. This newspaper is printed on acid-free paper. All speech balloons and photo manipulations are the work of SCN and please don't blame the original publisher, agency or the photographer...

SCN, Srilanka Crazy News and the slogan "We weed out the serious news" are trademarks of the SCN/ MadPage/ McMaluPaan Corp. All speech balloons and photo manipulations are the work of SCN and please don't blame the original publisher, agency or the photographer...