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Today's Top Crazy Election News from SCN

25 killings since December 5 bring total to 50 by Kalinga Weerakkody (The Island 11/12/01)Twenty five election related killings have been reported since December 5, bringing the total number of deaths since nomination to 50.

How SEN brought you the News

Post Mortem
STOP PRESS:THE IDIOT MP MERVYN "Cushion Cover" SILVA LOSES HIS SEAT!

UNP WINS! Yes they have! PA WINS! No they have not! Can somebody let us know what is happening? In the mean time get drunk, have fun and visit SCN Remember: Elections can be dangerous to your health. Do Not Indulge in Elections When Pregnant. Keep Clear Of Firearms. Do Not Pull The Pin Out Of Grenades Unless You Intend Throwing Them. Never Throw The Pin And Put The Grenade In Your Pocket.

ELECTION DAY!
We have decided to link up with Infolanka to bring you the latest election violence! Sorry the election results. Initially we at SCN thought we could maintain an Election Violence Results page but the votes..sorry!..the deaths were coming in so fast that we gave up, opened a bottle of whisky and linked our page to INFOLANKA
Ante Mortem
AND THEY ARE OFF! The word OFF of course has a slightly different meaning in the Queens Basawa as in "The beer/food has gone OFF" (Kunu wela, pilunu wela, Pal wela etc). We have used the word OFF in that context. For us at SCN politicans have always been "Off" ever since Mrs MadPage had a slanging match with the late Edwin Wickremaratne ( then an SLFP MP) at Mahiyangana in 1976. (Mrs MadPage won, by the way!)

CEN is a temporary feature but at the rate we have elections in Sri Lanka this could become a permanent feature! CEN is published from the safety of Great Britain and so the chances of a grenade attack are fairly low.The stories are in reverse chronological order. Some of the stories appear on other pages as well. We apologise for that.

THE IDIOT MP MERVYN "Cushion Cover" SILVA'S ACTIVITIES APPEAR IN VOLUME 21

Star Wars 2: May the UNP be with you
{short description of image} Astrologers go underground as stars return opposition to power
Dec 09 2001 16:54 IST COLOMBO, Dec 9 (AFP) - Sri Lankan seers who predicted a victory for President Chandrika Kumaratunga's party were in hiding Sunday as the man they wrote off as a loser was sworn in as the country's new Prime Minister.
A panel of astrologers had gone on state-television just before Wednesday's parliamentary elections to announce a resounding return to power by Kumaratunga's People's Alliance (PA). But the figures predicted by the astrologers were astronomically wrong. The opposition United National Party (UNP) beat Kumaratunga's PA by a whopping 37 seats in the 225-member assembly. President Chandrika Kumaratunga's family bastion of Gampaha was also crushed by the UNP.
The astrologer who led the panel, Priyantha Ratnayake, was unavailable for comment -- a spokesman said his whereabouts were unknown after attackers smashed windows of his office as vote results were announced Thursday.
Spotter: Ranil Bibile
Astrofraud or Star Wars
{short description of image} Astrology 'rigged' in Sri Lanka election (AFP)
Wednesday, 5 December, 2001, 15:10 GMT
Astrologers get more attention than political analysts By the BBC's Frances Harrison in Colombo As Sri Lanka went to the polls on Wednesday to elect a new parliament many voters were keen to know what the astrologers were saying about the outcome. It is not uncommon for politicians to consult the stars before fixing on any new venture. But this time allegations of corruption have rocked the astrology world with accusations that the planetary positions have been rigged. MORE{short description of image}
Spotter: Ranil Bibile
Two down!
{short description of image} UNP candidate shot dead in Batticaloa and attains the dubious honour of being the first candidate to be killed in this election
Sunday, 18 November 2001

Suspected LTTE rebels shot dead an opposition politician in Batticaloa on Saturday, making him the first candidate for next month's parliamentary elections to be assassinated, police said. Thambirajah Jayakumar was gunned down as he travelled by car in Batticaloa district, police said, adding that the gunmen had stopped the vehicle and then opened fire. MORE{short description of image}

One down!
{short description of image} Magistrate orders arrest of Sri Lanka minister on murder charge Nov 01 2001 15:07 IST COLOMBO, Nov 1 (AFP) - A Sri Lankan magistrate Thursday ordered the arrest of a government minister over the murder of an opposition activist during campaigning for the December election. Magistrate Vijitha Seneviratne ordered the immediate arrest of food minister Reggie Ranatunga, cancelling the police bail which had been granted to him earlier. MORE{short description of image}
The things they say on the campaign trail......
The things they say on the campaign trail......
Frederica Jansz in Colombo, 6.15 p.m. SLT Tuesday November 20.
{short description of image} Speaking at a Tissamaharama election rally, President Chandrika Kumaratunge said recently, "we have been patient and long suffering for seven years. If you try to kill us (PA loyalists) we will kill them."
{short description of image} S. B. Dissanayake, candidate for the United National Front said recently, "I will shoot myself at the premises of the sacred temple of the Tooth Relic in Kandy, if found guilty of fraud."
{short description of image} President Chandrika Kumaratunge said, "Our economy is doing very well. In fact, it has never been better. Proof of this is that today all Sri Lankan's can afford to eat chicken and travel in three wheelers."

Spotter: Ranil Bibile
Statistics
{short description of image} 50% of complaints not related to polls violence by Don Asoka Wijewardena
Police investigating complaints of polls related violence have determined that only about 50 per cent of them are legitimate and qualify as acts that impede election related activities and violate election laws. The rest, they have concluded, are general acts of violence and retaliatory attacks, lodged as complaints of polls related violence.(Sunday Observer 25 Nov 2001)
SCN COMMENTS: It stands to reason that 50% of complaints are related to polls violence
Sick vote
{short description of image} Sri Lankan voters sick to death of poll campaigns
By Christine Jayasinghe, Indo-Asian News Service Colombo, Nov 23 (IANS) Spotter: Vinod Moonesinghe
At least one candidate fighting for votes in Sri Lanka's upcoming general election thought his campaign advertisement would be better read if he placed it next to the dead. Friends of Percy Wickremesekere bought space next to the list of obituaries in the state-run Daily News in a bid to publicise his candidature. "All relations and friends please accept this intimation to vote for Percy and the clock symbol," ran the announcement that was styled on the lines of an obituary notice. The Democratic Left Front's virtually unknown aspirant may have tickled to death the thousands of readers who, the government newspaper's detractors say, read the death notices first before going on to the advertisements. MORE
(SCOOP! We reported this story long before IANS thanks to our correspondent Vinod Moonesinghe)

Campaign in style...
{short description of image} PERCY WICKREMESEKERE, LLB (Cey) Attorney at Law - sometime assessor - Inland Revenue, former Director Operations and Legal - Lake House - ex-Secretary of the S.L.F.P. Lawyers Association - General Secretary, United Commercial and Mercantile Union - U.C.M.U. Secretary - Democratic Left Front - Husband of Nalini - Retired Deputy Principal, St Paul's Milagiriya - Bambalapitiya, father of Dr Sinha - Health Department - Anuradhapura - Dr Channa - Monash University - Melbourne - Prasanna - Merchandiser - Brother of the late Dudley, Leslie, Lionel and Irvin and Mrs Mabel Handunnetti of Mount Lavinia - Dr Lambert (New Zealand), Lt. Col. Sidney Wijeyaratne - Pagoda, Nugegoda, Son-in-Law of the late Mr & Mrs Alfred Wijeyeratne of Ahungalle, Balapitiya - brother-in-law of Dr D.N. Wijeyeratne - V.O.G. Sri Jayawardenepura Hospital - Kotte and Dr Edward and Padmini Senanayake - U.S.A. has submitted his nomination to contest the Colombo District as a Candidate of the Democratic Left Front - led by Vasudeva Nanayakkara. All relations and friends please accept this intimation to vote for PERCY and the CLOCK symbol. 46, Stratford Avenue, Colombo 6. 594074, 82505. Inserted by the Royal College 1950 Group. -Advertisement next to Obituaries column in the Daily News of 9th November 2001.
Spotter: Vinod Munasinghe
Veddhas have taste!
{short description of image} Veddha Chief fed up with poll visitors Colombo Page 7 Nov 2001
Veddha chief Uruwarige Wanniya has gone into hiding in the jungle to evade politicians coming to Dambana to canvass for support at the December election. More{short description of image}
Close the stable door after elections
{short description of image} Chief Justice fixes poll-related case after the poll
[ColomboPage News Desk, Sri Lanka] Nov 06, Colombo: Chief Justice Sarath N. Silva Tuesday fixed a landmark rights plea filed by the UNP against the state electronic media, alleging that they are flouting accepted norms and ethics during the December 5 poll, to February 1, nearly two months after the election. MORE{short description of image}
Spotter: Ranil Bibile
Horror Movie Sequel: "Son of the Cushion Cover Strikes!"
{short description of image} Now... Mervyn’s son in action?
The Island 5 Nov 2001
Three drivers of Sri FM Radio Broadcast station housed in the Liberty Plaza building, Kollupitiya had been assaulted last Saturday (03) night allegedly by the son of Mervyn Silva, a former deputy minister and a Colombo district candidate of the PA contesting the forthcoming general election, police sources said. Investigations have revealed that a gang had allegedly joined Mervyn Silva’s son to assault the three drivers. Sri FM Radio Broadcast Chief News Editor, Kulasiri Kariyawasam speaking on this incident said that the Sri FM Radio Broadcast was conducting the radio programme ‘Holman Gedara’ at a night club at Kollupitiya on the previous night when a person said to be the son of Mervyn Silva gate-crashed to watch the programming. Then he had shot in the air several times and had gone away.
Spotter: Ranil Bibile
Idiot grenade thrower forgets to pull pin!
{short description of image} Lankan daily office attacked with grenade, defused
Saturday, November 3 2001 17:53 Hrs (IST) Colombo: Unknown miscreants on November 3 attacked the office of an anti-government newspaper group in Colombo with a grenade, which was later defused by the police, reporters working for the group said. A security guard spotted the live grenade just outside the editorial room of Sinhala daily `Divaina', and the bomb squad was called in to defuse it, they said. No one was injured. The group, which also publishes 'The Island' daily, had been allegedly threatened earlier by a former Deputy Minister belonging to the ruling People's Alliance who stormed into its office recently with his supporters. He was arrested on charges of trespass but later released on bail. However, reporters said they were not certain if the grenade attack had anything to do with the politician.
(Inspite of the source of this story - IST, a reliable source, we have serious reservations about the actual events! Read the bit about "just outside the editorial..." Our understanding of grenades are that they are thrown and in this case should have been through a window with considerable shattering of glass. The pin needs to be pulled out of course...Ed)
Idiot supporter falls off truck
{short description of image} Father of 5 dies in accident
Daily News 3 Nov 2001
A father aged 49, of five children fell from a moving lorry and died while participating in a procession after the nominations of Matale district for the forthcoming general election was handed over by the United National Party. The victim P.G. Punchi Banda was succumbed (sic) to injuries before admission to Dambulla Weera Denzil Kobbekaduwa Base hospital. Dambulla City Inquirer into Sudden Deaths Piyadasa Wanasinghe held the inquest. Several persons who participated on this occasion, gave evidence. Dambulla District Medical Officer Tissa I. Perera held the autopsy and certified that death was due to a crack the skull causing damages to the brain. The Inquirer recorded a verdict of the accidental death. Karunarathna PC of Galewela police led evidence. (Whilst this is a tragic story a father of five and at the age of 49 should have been sensible enough to have stayed at home with his family and not participate in the drunken roistering of his political mates. We have no information re: his post mortem blood alcohol level. - Ed)
THE ELECTION CAMPAIGN STARTS OFF!
{short description of image} Magistrate orders arrest of Sri Lanka minister on murder charge Nov 01 2001 15:07 IST COLOMBO, Nov 1 (AFP) - A Sri Lankan magistrate Thursday ordered the arrest of a government minister over the murder of an opposition activist during campaigning for the December election. Magistrate Vijitha Seneviratne ordered the immediate arrest of food minister Reggie Ranatunga, cancelling the police bail which had been granted to him earlier. MORE{short description of image}

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