from Haramanis Aiya|
An occasional feature...
Haramanis is the old
family "retainer" at the now rundown coconut plantation (pol
Personae or Naluwo|
Bandara Chandralatha: Chairperson of the Jayapura Housing
Ranoris: Secretary of the Jayapura Housing Scheme
Maheepaala: Chandralatha's chief henchman
'Lamputhel' Karune: Petrol shed manager and operator of
Housing Scheme generator.
'Kappam' Velu: The protection racket man and chief saree
'Kannadi' Bala: Velu's 'tholkaya' ('talking chief')
REST OF THE CAST
Aney Loku Mahattaya,
That Ranoris is a real kapati-rala! You see, the sudhu mahattaya
from Redd Barna had been trying to stop our goriya with
Kappam Velu. So he had arranged for Kannadi Bala
and someone from the Jayapura exco to come and have a suhadha
saakachchawa at the buffet at Browns Beach Hotel.
So Ranoris sent the Iskola
Mahattaya, Gini Poli Mudalali and the Mowlana.
But HE has gone to Colombo and met the manthrithumas! He has
even made a speech saying that now that he and Kappam Velu were
having suhadha saakachchaa, Redd Barna should give
money for the Housing Scheme development fund.
So he can always say that he was
not involved and that Iskola Mahattaya was responsible!
happened at the buffet.|
The Iskola Mahattaya made a
speech, then Bala made a speech.
Bala said that the goriya was due
to Chandralathas earlier vettu (that was the time
when Iskola Mahattaya was Chandralathas vettu adviser, so
he was looking very embarrassed!). Bala said first that Velu
wants all the kappam, but later said he will agree to part of
the kappam if he gets part of the money that Ranoris is asking
from the sudhu mahattayas. Anyway, Bala says that there will be
no gori for a few months.
The Redd Barna people will have
to invite them to the buffet again, for more suhadha
Chandralatha is hopping mad
(pissu wetila)! She first said that one of her relatives must go
to the buffet. Now she is saying that she will not agree to any
'hora givisuma' that the Iskola Mahattaya agrees with Bala.
But now the Iskola Mattaya
and Bala have agreed not to agree until January, so Chandralatha
cannot say anything.
Actually I think Ranoris and
Chandralatha have a hora givisuma, so that they can
go on savaari. I mean they are all shouting but nothing is
happening! Kathava thamai!
Your old servant, Haramanis. 21st
tip: Refer to our Dickshonary
if you don't understand the politicalspeak!
Not many things have happened in your
old village since I my last letter, which is why I have taken so
long to write.
Ranoris went on a
'vandhanaawa' to Munneswaram. They say he has done a 'pooja' to get
rid of Chandralatha. Chandralatha went to go shopping at
Majestic City, but when she heard that Ranoris had done a
'pooja' she came running back to Jayapura. Balanna!
Meanwhile, Puransisco Appuhamy,
the Chief Publicity Officer went to Colombo to make a speech. He is
not even a Member of Parliament, but he is asking to be made
Speaker! So all the Jayapura big bugs were out of the village at the
same time! Maheepala had a 'hartal' on the main road against
Ranoris and 'All Night' Ravindra, for putting up the prices
at the co-op. Ravindra put the prices down again. I think he is
doing this to annoy Maheepala.
Do you remember Prasanna? He was that
draughtsman at the Pradeshiya Sabha. Now he has been elected
Chairperson of the Gramodhaya Mandalaya. He is jealous of Ravindra,
who keeps the co-op open all night. So he decided to put lights on
the Gramodhaya Mandalaya office. So the Gramodhaya Mandalaya was
alight all night, but the rest of the Housing Scheme was in darkness
because the generator is not big enough.
'Lamputhel' Karune is furious
because people will say it is his fault for the lights going off.
The latest news is that Chandralatha
and Ranoris had a 'suhadha saakachchaawa'. (kathawa vitharai!!)
None of their supporters like it
because they think they will do a 'MOU' so that they can go on
Your old servant, Haramanis
3rd September 2002
Ranoris and Kadiru Mahattaya
Aney Loku Mahattaya,
Balanna! we are having all kinds of
keli-sellam here in your home village. 'Junthu' Marikka said over
the loudspeaker at the 'Junthu Record Bar and Communications Centre'
that Chandralatha was plotting to remove Ranoris and make 'Kadiru
Lucky' Vice Chairperson instead. Samare, who runs the 'Mango Style
Fancy Goods' has written a letter to Chandralatha saying how to
remove Ranoris, which Junthu was showing to everybody at the record
bar. Chandralatha demanded that she be allowed to announce over the
same loudspeaker, but Junthu said that no time was available. Then
Ranoris said that Chandralatha was trying to dissolve the exco of
the Jayapura Housing Scheme. Chandralatha sent Kadiru to see him and
they had a long talk.
Ranoris and Kadiru get along very
well (they were classmates at CWW Kannangara Primary School), even
though Junthu said that Chandralatha is replacing Ranoris with
Kadiru. Now Chandralatha says she won't dissolve the exco.
'Cycle' Jackson is now the secretary
of the Jayapura Sports Club. He has organised a sports meet and
athletes from all the neighbouring villages have come. There were
'cheena patas' and 'ahas vedi' at the opening. But 'Cycle' didn't
invite Chandralatha, only Ranoris and that girl who won the
'Avurudhu Kumari' contest at the Honolulu Hotel. Chandralatha was
very angry and was shouting everywhere that she should have been the
Murugan organised a strike on the
estate, but Chegaram said he could get the demands from the
management without striking. So Murugan told Chegaram to go ahead
and called off the strike. So the labourers lost a day's wages for
nothing. Both Murugan and the Moulana of the Madrasa have said they
will support whoever gets most votes in the exco. The Moulana is
angry with Ranoris (even though they both went to CWW Primary)
because he didn't take any action when Velu assaulted the Madrasa
Maheepala has called a hartal on
Monday because Ravindra has put up the prices in the co-op. Sella
Dara Maduwa put up the price of firewood, saying that Chokka is now
taking subscriptions from them, which he didn't do earlier.
Meanwhile nobody is doing any work.
It is not like the good old days when you used to stay at the
Your servant, Haramanis
10th August 2002
Aney Loku Mahattaya,
Cartoon: The Island 28th July
Now that you are a big shot in England, I hope you will not
I would just like to tell you
what has been happening in your home village.
The Jayapura Housing Scheme
Management Committee met last week to discuss matters of
importance to the residents. The Chairperson, Chandralatha,
was in the Chair.
At the outset, Chandralatha told
the committee that there was no truth in the allegations made by
Ravindra, the co-op manager, that she had bought two
trishaws from Batu Miris Watte Motors instead of from Richard
Pieris. She said that she had bought one Bajaj only and that
Ranoris, the Vice Chairperson could go and see it at her
Walauwa. Batu Miris Watte Motors had acted as agents only for
Ranoris told the committee that he didnt have time to
go and inspect the Bajaj because he had an urgent appointment
with the Minister in Colombo. Ravindra said that
Chandralatha had bought an expensive malla from
Majestic City in Colombo and that she was carrying a
cassette player in it.
Ranoris told Ravindra to shut up.
Ranoris said the Minister would give extra funds and he told Karune,
the manager of the petrol shed, to reduce the price of Kerosene oil.
He said that Housing Scheme subscriptions would be collected in a
different way from now.
He has told Chokka, the
accounts clerk, to change the question from Gedara
Salli Thiyanavada (gst) to Vaesiyani, Aadaara
The watcher at the housing scheme
gate has complained that Murugan, the estate kangani, had come at
night to the watchers hut and abused him. He had slept on the
watchers donkey bed and had only gone home because John Aiyya,
the Security Manager had come in the early morning and taken him
Now Murugan is fighting with Karune
because Karune wants to put an anicut in the estate stream. Ranoris
went to Colombo and met the Minister. His photo has even come in the
Dinamina and he was shown on Swarnavahini.
The Minister has praised Ranoris for
talking to Kappam Velu and pacifying him. However, Velus
friend Bala has arranged for a news item to go in the Dinamina
saying that Ranoris has not told the Minister to give Velu the commission
he is asking for. The Housing Scheme general meeting was held in the
Community Centre. Chokka was telling them to agree to the new
subscription collection. Then Maheepala got up and started shouting
that Ravindra has said that Chandralatha has got a galkatas
in her Majestic City malla.
Then Maheepalas supporters all
started walking towards the chairman shouting against Raviindra.
Ravindra was not present because he has gone to meet Musa, the
Chairman of the Imran Khan Model Village. However,
Ravindras supporters have assaulted Maheepalas
supporters and vice-versa.
Chokka has meanwhile got the new
subscription put into the minutes! So you see what you are missing
Your old servant,
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