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|SRI LANKA IDIOT KINGS|
|IDIOT KINGS OF SRILANKA and..........A GRIM (GRIMM! GETIT?) FAIRYTALE .....SRILANKAN OF COURSE!||Gyan Fernando's Revision of The Mahavamsa|
|LINKS: | HISTORY 1 | HISTORY 2 | HISTORY 3 | HISTORY 4 | QUEEN ANULA | CHITRA Part2|
IDIOT KINGS OF SRILANKA
No 1: King Yassalalaka Tissa 52- 60AD
King Yassalalaka Tissa was a notable idiot in Srilankan history, and particularly so since he was the King! One wonders about the intelligence of the proles that he ruled over!
Sometime into his reign it suddenly dawned upon him that he had a remarkable resemblance to the palace gatekeeper.....(probably a bastard half brother!). The idiot, i.e. The king , thought this was hilarious! Anyone else would have been worried about this but not our friend ! He decides to change places with the guard. Good fun!..(Ha!Ha!)...or so he thinks!...
Predictable results follow: Guard sitting on throne sees King (now the guard) laughing. Has his (the King's) head off . Guard continues to rule.....The populace accepts this!..... If you don't believe this read the Mahavamsa. Will fill you on the exact details in a later revision of this page.....
There seem to be a lot of gullible morons called Tissa in Srilankan history! If there is anybody called Tissa out there in Sydney, Australia who is not a moron please e mail us! Send testimonials!
No 2: King Sirisanghabodi 247AD-249AD
...a short reign but that is not surprising.... it did rain..get it?...read on!
This guy was no doubt a pious guy and a general decent bloke but he lost his head..literally!.... no big deal you say ..lots of Kings and Queens have lost their heads you say. Yes they have but this guy scored a spectacular own goal. Yes he did.. he cut his own head off and gave it to a guy who offered him food...The king was on the run at the time (which explains a lot!) and there was a price on his head ...get it? head! Get it!....He wanted the guy who gave him food to collect the bounty on his (here we go again) HEAD!
Incidentally, if you are going to decapitate yourself what is the point of eating beforehand?
On a previous occasion when there was a severe drought in the country the idiot king heard that peasants were dying. He lay down in front of the Great Stupa (temple) and resolved not to get up unless it rained so much that he could float in the water. Fortunately it rained..all over Lanka but not enough to float the King..His counsellors (sic) panicked and shut off all the rainwater sewers so that the idiot could float!....... He could have drowned!
He seems to have been an utter whimp: At the news " The rebels have risen.." "the king had the rebels brought before him but he released them again secretly". What a prat!
When a Yakka (demon) terrorised the country the King embarked on a hunger strike!
Finally the king's treasurer, a guy by the name of Gothhabahya, had had enough and rebeled against the King. The King ran away (predictable!) and offered his head to an unnamed bloke in return for a meal or meals . The unnamed bloke took the head and collected the bounty in gold. When the rebel Gothabhaya was presented with the head he was amazed (at this display of idiocy, no doubt) but paid up and gave the now headless king a decent funeral!
What a way to run a country!
No 3: er! that's all for the moment..but no doubt there will be one along in a minute.......