VOLUME 15 {short description of image} SCN SRILANKA CRAZY NEWS
SCN: WE WEED OUT THE SERIOUS NEWS! {short description of image}INDEX

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Darwin award?
{short description of image} Gave bomb to suspect in court cell: three relatives remanded.
The Island Tuesday 11th September, 2001(Divaina Corr. Hemantha Randunu and Matugama Divaina Corr. Daya Wickrema Arachchi)
Matugama Magistrate Mahinda Pinidiya remanded three relatives of a suspect who was in the court cell for allegedly giving a bomb to the suspect. The suspects so remanded were Emalin Nona Fernando, Nandani and Weedisinghe Stanly of Dehiwela. The mother, sister and another brother had brought the bomb to the court premises and given it to the suspect, Matugama OIC Chandana Kodituwakku informed court. Police further reported that the suspect Sarath Panditharatne tried to escape after the bomb attack. Twelve persons were critically injured in the incident. The suspect also suffered in the blast, police said. Now he is receiving treatment at the Colombo National Hospital. Police investigations have revealed that the bomb had been brought to court concealed in the umbrella of the sister of the suspect. (Desperate people do .....- Ed) Matugama police conducted investigations.
ADI DAA ADIDAS
{short description of image} Hit or shoes?
Sunday Times 9th September 2001 (Jungle Telegraph)
(We have added a link to the Jungle Telegraph archives. See main index - Ed)

Adi daa…Adi daa…" is how some top rungers would exhort the rank and file to attack Tiger guerrillas during offensive action. The word in Tamil means "hit them".
But, this is the case of a top runger who kept shouting "Adidas, Adidas… " puzzling many in the zinc roofed mess hall in a battle area.
It took a while for others to decipher the new exhortation.
It was a request from a subordinate officer to purchase a pair of Adidas for his sibling. The young man obliged.
THIEVES WANT MONEY BACK ON IMMITATIONS!
{short description of image} Snatch thieves getting bolder Ja-Ela
The Island Tuesday 4th September, 2001— In addition to rapes, abductions and sexual harassment of girls working in factories in the Katunayake Investment Promotion Zone, the snatching gold chains by gangs of thieves on motor bicycles has increased. The newest development in the snatching of chains is that these thieves have become brave enough to tell the victims to report to "Ahimsa" the loss. In some instances, when the snatched chain turns out to be an imitation, the thieves come back and throw the imitation chain back with a slap on the face of the victim. (At least the thieves seem to have good tastes! - Ed)
SEND IN OBELIX
{short description of image} CPC staff run helter-skelter after being confronted with unwanted 'guests'
Island(1 Sep)
From Cyril Wimalasurendre Kandy
Presence of three wild boars in the office of the Central Provincial Council at Pallekelle at mid-day yesterday created pandemonium among the office staff. Members of office staff ran helter-skelter as the intruders suddenly appeared in the building and began roaming about snooping. Some furniture and goods in the office rooms toppled as the office staff ran about in panic when the animals began to enter from one room to the other and finally they were chased out with the use of sticks and poles by some male employees of the Provincial council. The animals may have entered the CPC premises while roaming about in search of water, it is believed. (No doubt the local speciality is Devilled Wild Boar! Does bring back memories! - Ed)
Contributed by Vinod Moonesinghe
Go Forth And Multiply (Again!) or NON-FRUITFUL HOSPITAL BECOMES FRUIT AND NUT FARM
{short description of image} Only 41 births at Ambalangoda hospital in 2000 (Island 30th Aug)
AMBALANGODA: Southern Provincial Health Service Deputy Director Dd. (Ms) A.G.L.K. Ranasinghe in a letter to the Provincial Minister of Health, I. Wijewantha has disclosed that during the year 2001 only 41 births had occurred at the District hospital, Ambalangoda. Accordingly, the hospital has been listed under the category of hospitals which are not fruitful. (Get that? Not fruitful! - Ed) As a result there is the risk of converting this 50-year-old institution to a mental hospital, (Fruits and Nuts - Ed) according to a higher officer of the Provincial Ministry. But Ambalangoda people are up in arms against the proposed conversion shedding political differences.
Contributed by Vinod Moonesinghe

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