VOLUME 2	SCN SRILANKA CRAZY NEWS
SCN: WE WEED OUT THE SERIOUS NEWS!	INDEX

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ARMY KAYOED!

Schoolboy defeats Army boxer By M.Shamil Amit (Sunday Times, July 8 2001) A schoolboy from Seevali M.V. Ratnapura, Chandimal Alexander (Alexander The Great?-Ed) boxed his way to the semi-finals when he defeated an experienced boxer T.D.N.Samaranayake of the Army in a quarter final of the light fly weight Under 48 kgs at the Layton Cup Boxing tournament being conducted at the Sugathadasa Indoor Stadium.

RUNS, BUT NOT CRICKET!

Lanka Doctors get runs! (Not cricket! -Ed) Sri Lanka doctors get the runs after reunion Jul 06 2001 10:59 IST COLOMBO, July 6 (AFP) - Sri Lankan doctors suffered diarrhoea, chest pains and headaches after a buffet dinner at their annual reunion, sending most of them to the hospital, officials said Friday. Nearly 200 doctors attended the Government Medical Officers' Association meeting at a de luxe international conference hall here last Saturday, and more than two thirds of them had to be treated for food poisoning. "We have lodged a formal complaint," a spokesman for the association said. "It is a very serious matter; some doctors had to be hospitalised." FOLLOW UP TO THIS STORY

MINISTER STONED BUT NOT DRUNK

Sri Lanka Minister stoned! (Not drunk!-Ed) Thursday July 5, 2000, 7:42 PM Sri Lanka Minister/Stoned -2: Supported President COLOMBO (AP)--Sri Lanka's first Muslim woman Cabinet minister was stoned Thursday by members of a rival party while she was on her way to a meeting in the country's eastern town of Ampara, police and witnesses said. Fariel Ashraff escaped unhurt, but four of her supporters received injuries in the attack, said the witnesses who declined to be named. Ampara is located city 200 kilometers east of Colombo and is a Muslim majority area. One member of the country's elite Special Task Force, a security unit, was also wounded. (MORE) Dow Jones Newswires 05-07-01 0849GMT Supported President Members of the Sri Lanka Muslim Congress, a rival party, hurled stones at the motorcade carrying Ashraff, who heads the National Unity Alliance. She drew the wrath of her rivals after she announced her support for President Chandrika Kumaratunga's government last month. Rauf Hakeem, chief of the Sri Lanka Muslim Congress, was sacked by Kumaratunga last month. Hakeem joined the opposition ranks soon after his sacking along with six other Muslim lawmakers, reducing Kumaratunga's ruling coalition to a minority in Parliament. But Ashraff, with three lawmakers, remained loyal to Kumaratunga.

CHAIN GANG OF ONE!

"Chain Podda" in police net. Wed Aug 4 2000 Midweek Mirror The Anti Vice Squad of the Mt. Lavinia police division arrested an extortionist known as "Chain Podda", with ten live bullets, a Rambo knife, trail motorcycle, a bicycle and 15 chains. He had been in the habit of extorting jewellery from train passengers.

"When you've got to go you've got to go!"

Toilet tragedy Wed Aug 4 2000 Midweek Mirror An argument over who should go to the toilet first ended up with a young man stabbing his elder brother at Sri Suddharama Road, Mt.Lavinia on Sunday. The victim was R.Indrasiri and the suspect was R. Jayasiri.

Work is the ruination of the drinking classes...

Father tortures son for not catching fish to go with drinks (original headline -Ed) COLOMBO, July 4 2001, Kyodo - A drunken father tied his 11-year-old son to a tree and burned him with a heated iron rod because the child refused to go to a nearby irrigation reservoir to catch some fish to accompany his father's drinking session, Sri Lanka's best-selling newspaper said Wednesday. In a front-page splash, the Lankadeepa said the boy, Ruwan Kumara, had more than 20 burn marks on his body when he was treated a government hospital. The screams of his mother and sisters had not stopped the father who tortured his son until neighbors responding to the screams tied the father to a tree and called police. Police said the man habitually demanded his son catch fish to accompany his drinking sessions. The man is expected to be brought before a magistrate and charged with child cruelty. (As punishment he should have his full name -including the Ge name- branded on his bottom in large font size using a branding iron!-Ed) Prof. Harendra de Silva, head of the National Child Protection Authority, said his agency will guide the police in the prosecution. ''What important (sic!-Ed) is a public outcry, which was there in this case,'' he said. ''The police must be on the side of the child and not be influenced by adults to go easy on such cases. Too often, there is the attitude 'It his child(sic!-Ed) so how can we interfere?'' De Silva said that just a few years ago only about 100 child cruelty cases would be reported in Sri Lanka annually. ''But last year the attorney general made 1,250 indictments and the number of reported cases was much more than that.'' He said the latest amendment to the Penal Code specifies a minimum mandatory two-year sentence for anyone convicted of cruelty to children.

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