VOLUME 23 {short description of image} SCN SRILANKA CRAZY NEWS
SCN: WE WEED OUT THE SERIOUS NEWS! {short description of image}INDEX

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Stretchers and handcuffs in parliament
{short description of image} Monk and murder suspect make debut in parliament
by Amal Jayasinghe COLOMBO (AFP) 23 Dec 2001
A Buddhist monk and a murder suspect made their debuts in Sri Lanka’s parliament on December 19 when it held its first session since a general election on December 5. Baddegama Samitha became the first monk to join the legislature after being elected for the opposition People’s Alliance (PA).
Another PA lawmaker, D. M. Dassanayake, became the first legislator to be driven to parliament from a remand prison while escorted by prison guards. He is facing a number of charges, including murder and possessing illegal weapons. "We have not had an MP brought here before with the permission of the court like in the case of the honourable D. M. Dassanayake," a parliamentary official said.
Two minority Tamil legislators were in bandages for the swearing-in ceremony in the red-carpeted chamber. K. Shivajilingam of the Tamil United Liberation Front (TULF) had his legs broken by a rival group just before he stood for election on the northern islet of Kayts. He was brought in on a stretcher and then transferred to a wheelchair. Another TULF MP, Mavai Senadhirajah, had both hands in bandages after suffering serious injuries during an attack blamed on a party that supported the PA, which is led by President Chandrika Kumaratunga.
Another MP forgot the strict dress code of the assembly where only national dress or lounge suits are allowed. MP-elect A. Chandra Nehru arrived in casual dress. He was promptly given a coat borrowed from an usher, with the red braiding removed so that he would not be mistaken for a hired help.
Gladiators, Srilankan style
{short description of image} Siripala-Rajitha ‘live’ fight on TV talkshow
Dec 21, 2001(EHN)
Former Minister Nimal Siripala Silva and non-cabinet ranker Dr. Rajitha Senaratne pushed each other and almost came close to blows during a heated argument over corruption charges levelled against the ex-minister, while appearing on a live political programme on Swarnavahini on Tuesday night. They were seated next to each other.
Alcoholism and head injury
{short description of image} Wife beats husband to death with pestle
By Sandasen Marasinghe The Island, Saturday 22nd December, 2001
A young farmer, the father of three children, was beaten to death with a ebony pestle by his wife. At the inquest it was disclosed that the woman had killed the husband unable to bear the embarrassment caused by his drinking. The deceased Morawakalage Jayasooriya (35) of Meda Mawatha, Mahasen Pura died at the Colombo National Hospital on December 14th.
Politicians surrender illegal weapons
{short description of image} Sri Lanka to offer amnesty for illegal arms surrender
By Indo-Asian News Service Sunday December 16, 11:57 AM Colombo, Dec 16 (IANS) Sri Lanka will offer amnesty for those surrendering illegal firearms, including T-56 automatic rifles and grenades believed to be with criminals and some politicians. SCN has always held the view that Criminals and Politicians are closely related - Ed.
Lucky guy!
Polling agent dies on Election day
Daily News Friday, 14 December 2001
A polling agent died of a heart attack on the election day December 5.
Government No-information Department
{short description of image} Parliament meeting postponed until Dec 19 [ColomboPage News Desk, Sri Lanka] Dec 13, Colombo: The inaugural session of the twelfth parliament has been postponed again by the President. It is not immediately known whether President Kumaratunga would open the new session. The Government Information Department is clueless about it.
When a Dept of Information is "clueless", one wonders about the rest of the Government Departments.... Sobering thought even if you are not drunk - Ed
Carlo's logic
{short description of image} Thou shalt kill — reply (letter) The Island 11 Dec 2001
Carlo Fonseka in his letter to the editor "Tit for Tat" (Monday December 3), is trying to vilify Mr. Ranil Wickremesinghe for having referred, in his letter to the Heads of State of US, UK and EU, to President Chandrika Bandaranaike Kumaratunga’s provocative call in Sinhala to her supporters to answer murder with murder: "If they try to kill us, you kill them"
Carlo Fonseka, in his anxiety to exonerate his political idol misleadingly points out that CBK’s words should be translated as "Kill them if they kill you" and that this injunction to "Kill them if they kill you" cannot be carried out because "those who have been killed cannot kill others".

Nice logic Carlo! or should we say BULLSHIT! Keep it up and you might end up in believing in yourself! - Ed.

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