VOLUME 25 {short description of image} SCN SRILANKA CRAZY NEWS
SCN: WE WEED OUT THE SERIOUS NEWS! {short description of image}INDEX

SCN, Srilanka Crazy News and the slogan "We weed out the serious news" are trademarks of the SCN/ MadPage/ McMaluPaan Corp.

{short description of image} Convert hospitals into remand prisons!
(Opinion Island 4.3.02) Your headlines in today’s paper (February 21) must have caused much surprise to almost all readers. This is because a suspect in connection with a murder and many other allegations was reported to have been airlifted by a Government helicopter to be produced before magistrate, who ordered that he be remanded. But he was flown back to Colombo and admitted to Hospital.
The questions that arise in this connection are: Who pays for the Helicopter ride up and down and who permitted it? If the suspect is ailing what were doctors findings and what was the treatment prescribed? Or should we convert all Hospitals into remand prisons for all suspects in the country irrespective of his position and power?
A Law Abiding Citizen Spotter: Ranil Bibile
Hora Police
{short description of image} Policeman turns snatch thief
By Leary Beekmeyer Daily Mirror 4.3.02
A snatch thief who was found guilty of stealing a chain from a young girl at Kollupitiya was sentenced to one year's rigorous imprisonment by Colombo Fort Magistrate Priyantha Fernando. Two lovers who enjoyed the evening by the sea at Kollupitiya had encountered the snatch thief who grabbed the chain from the girl. The thief had sped off with the chain only to be pursued by a number of bystanders hearing the cries of the teenager. They handed over the suspect to the police who produced him in court. The thief pleaded guilty and he had a previous conviction against him. Attorney Suraweera Arachchi pleaded for a suspended sentence. It was revealed that the thief had been a former reserve policeman who had later worked in a security establishment. He was charged with theft and retention of stolen property. Spotter: Ranil Bibile
We wont have a wonderful time tonight, Dahling!
{short description of image} Love's labour lost for Sri Lankan cross-dresser
Reuters COLOMBO, March 1 — A young Sri Lankan woman has filed for divorce three months into her marriage after discovering her husband was really a woman, a newspaper reported on Friday.
The young bride had been whisked away on her wedding night by her parents who were suspicious about the groom's feminine gait and high-pitched voice, the Daily Mirror reported. The matter ended up in a court in the capital Colombo when the transvestite groom ''had gone to the girl's residence to take his wife back,'' the paper said.
The paper did not say how the bride was lured into the marriage but said the transvestite had carried out similar scams in the past. Spotter: Ranil Bibile (Any news of the dowry? - Ed)
Ten ways of finding out if your husband is a woman - An SCN cut-out-and-keep guide

1. Has long hair tied into a ponytail and with an Araliya flower.
2. Wears high heels and sings Nanda Malini songs.
3. Has a headache at bedtime.
4. Likes pink shirts.
5. Uses razors but only on the legs and armpits.
6. Drinks beer but only with lemonade.
7. Doesn't like Playboy.
8. Goes for cake making classes.
9. Likes Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt.
10. Doesn't fart loudly.

11. Has bumps on chest.
12. That's enough - Ed.
Population explosion explained
{short description of image} Puhul increases sperm and treats disorders
by Namini Wijedasa (The Island 17 Feb 2002)
White gourd melon (Benincasa hispida) or puhul is classified a fruit but also treated as a vegetable in Sri Lanka. Ayurveda physicians call it kushmanda and a preparation with the fruit is called kushmanda avaleham. The raw fruit alleviates vatha and pitta while the ripe one alleviates all three humours. Lakshmi Senaratne, senior scientist (Ayurveda) of the Bandaranaike International Ayurveda Research Institute, noted that its light on the digestive system and cooling to the body.
"Puhul also increases sperm and treats disorders and defects of sperms," Senaratne pointed out. It increases sperms.(Puhul seems to be more harmful than Valentine's Day! - Ed)
Story abridged: Click here for complete article{short description of image}
Interestingly this article appeared in the Leisure section of this paper. We suppose that anything to do with sperm must come under leisure!...Ed.
Spotter: Ranil Bibile

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