VOLUME 35 {short description of image} SCN SRILANKA CRAZY NEWS
SCN: WE WEED OUT THE SERIOUS NEWS! {short description of image}INDEX

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Goats ARE vegetarian!
{short description of image} GOAT KILLS GOAT!
Odd Spot: Vegetarian sacrifices goat for extension [ColomboPage News Desk, Sri Lanka] July 09, Colombo:
A teetotaler and a vegetarian Army officer recently made an unusual and unethical vow to get his new extension. He was advised to sacrifice a goat if he wanted the post. He did it and is now looking for an auspicious time to hand over his application for his new extension. (As goats are vegetarians we can't see what the fuss is about! - Ed)
Oh Shit!
{short description of image} Surprise for magistrate
(Daily Mirror 4th July 2002)
Avissawella Magistrate C.W. Punchihewa had to suspend court proceedings and leave the court premises when a suspect in a heroin peddling case threw a parcel of faecal matter at him. The magistrate earlier refused to grant bail to the suspect who was on remand when produced before him. As the magistrate fixed the hearing of the case for August 7, the suspect who reached for the parcel in his shirt pocket threw it at the magistrate. Later the additional magistrate came on the Bench and the suspect was again produced before him. The additional magistrate directed HQI Avissawella Priyalal Dissanayake to seek the Attorney General's advice on action to be taken against the suspect for the attack on the magistrate.
Keystone Cops!
{short description of image} Trafficker escapes while police arrest cops in civvies
by Norman Palihawadana (The Island 19 June 2002)
An instance of Kirulapone police arresting three constables of Kohuwela police on Sunday due to mistaken identity has been revealed.
According to police sources three constables in civvies attached to Kohuwela police on detecting a drug trafficker proceeding on a motorcycle had given chase towards Kirulapone area to arrest him. But on the way Kirulapone police had arrested the three constables and in the rush the drug trafficker had got away. The three officers were released on intimation from Kohuwela police. This incident had occurred due to the lack of co-ordination between police stations, the sources said.(Now that's a surprise! - Ed) Spotter: Vinod Moonesinghe.
Arm Robbery
{short description of image} Arm-cutter paramour remanded
by Kalinga Weerakkody (The Island 19th June 2002)(Abridged)
A married man who cut off the right arm of a 31 year old unmarried woman for not agreeing to be his paramour was remanded till June 2 after he was produced before the Kadugannawa Magistrate on Monday. The suspect had been identified as Gamini Jayalath (37) who is a father of two children. Police said that the man had been following the girl for around three years. On the day of the incident the man who had been in ambush near the Kadugannawa market around 11.20 a.m. had followed the victim while she was returning to her house situated at Sooriyagoda. The girl had told him not to come again as she was going to be married.
Immediately the suspect had cut off the victim’s right arm with a manna knife just below the shoulder and had surrendered to Kadugannawa police with the arm.
OIC Kadugannawa police Priyantha Peiris and his team had immediately covered the arm with a clean polythene and covered it with ice. Police had immediately handed it over to the Consultant Surgeon of the Peradeniya hospital Dr. M. D. Lamawanse around 12.00 noon. When contacted Dr. Lamawanse said that ‘the victim had bled severely and was in a desperate condition. We had to give her blood to maintain her blood pressure and we managed to bring it to normal. He further said that ‘around 1.00 p.m. the patient had been taken to the operation theatre and the operation lasted till around 6.00 p.m. We had to stitch her arm bones, mussels (sic) and blood vessels. Spotter: Vinod Moonesinghe.
Ralahamy Hora!
{short description of image} Policeman nabbed for alleged removal of side mirror
by Norman Palihawadana (The Island 17 June 2002)
A police constable serving in the Katunayake police station was arrested on Wednesday (12) on allegation of removing a side mirror of a private bus parked in the police station premises, Katunayake police said. Investigations revealed that this police constable had been on duty at Katunayake railway station on Wednesday (12) night but had come to the police station premises and had allegedly removed the side mirror of the private bus. This private bus bearing registration No. 61-5346 had been taken into custody in connection with an accident and was parked in the police station premises to be produced in courts as a court production. Meanwhile Police Headquarters is highly perturbed over illegal activities of the police officers in the recent times. (Spotter: Vinod Moonesinghe)
Dandu Monara sighted at Polonnaruwa!
{short description of image} Mysterious object seen again in Polonnaruwa
[ColomboPage News Desk, Sri Lanka] June 15, Colombo: Residents in Polonnaruwa said they have seen a mysterious flying object several times in the area. Hundreds of residents flocking to the Parakarama Samudra Bank saw the object Wednesday night, journalists said. Some have even said they heard voices coming from within the object, described by some as an unidentified flying object. Some scientists believe that it could be a gas balloon sent into the sky by a neighboring country or a balloon sent by some organized persons in the area to dupe the public. But anyway the police have not been able to get any clues about the unidentified object. A video picture of the object taken by a local journalist shows an elongated bright object. Colombo University physicist Dr. Chandra Jayaratne has hinted that it could be a flying machine from a mysterious place carrying some living beings. (Why living beings? Why can't it be an unmanned craft? - Ed) But he has no concrete proof except the hearsay reports in the media. The whisky-soaks of Scotland regularly see a monster on Loch Ness. Maybe the denizens of Polonnaruwa are on Kassippu! - Ed

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