crazylanka.com SCN Srilanka Crazy News Vol 41 We weed out the serious news! INDEX

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Sleeping sleepers Railways sleepers idle [ColomboPage News Desk, Sri Lanka] Dec 03, Colombo: While railway tracks have not been maintained properly to ensure the smooth running of trains, some 200,000 sleepers have also been idling in the yards for years. The reason? No funds to fix them up. Railways employees say sleepers worth around Rs. 600 million have been lying idle at the Dematagoda yard alone for several years. Hooks, required for the fixing of sleepers, are in short supply and the Railway Department has no funds to spend around Rs. 130 million to import them. A public and private partnership to rescue the railway from its economic crisis has been suggested but the overstaffed work force has vehemently protested against the move. Spotter: Ranil Bibile

Tarts on wheels, again! Mobile luxury brothel raided [ColomboPage News Desk, Sri Lanka] Dec 03, Colombo: Police have taken into custody a high profile businessman and eleven pretty girls after a luxury van used as a mobile brothel was raided on a tip at Bambalapitiya. The businessman, who had indulged in this activity for a long time, is reported to have charged Rs. 5,000 from clients for the women’s services. Most of the women, who are from the suburbs, travel to Colombo daily on the pretext of attending regular jobs. Spotter: Ranil Bibile

Cops get priorities right! Schoolboys misbehave in A' pura Sacred City By Athula Bandara (Daily Mirror 29-11-2002) Anuradhapura police yesterday arrested 11 students who were behaving indecently in the sacred city after consuming liquor . Anuradhapura SSP Mahinda Bandara Beddewela was informed of their behaviour at Wessagiriya, close to Isurumuniya vihara. A special motor patrol team was sent to the spot and the miscreants were arrested. Some of the students were intoxicated at the time of arrest, and all were in their school uniform. Police have taken into custody the bottle of liquor and the packet of cigarettes they were consuming. Later the students were handed over to their parents and elders after reprimanding the students and warning parents to be more careful about the activities of their children. (Any news of the booze and fags??? - Ed) Spotter: Ranil Bibile.

Major breakthrough in AIDS treatment! Beach hotel set on fire after owner dies of AIDS Nov 27, Colombo: Villagers in Unawatuna near Galle set fire to a beach hotel after its owner died of AIDS. The 48-year-old victim died at the Mulleriyawa hospital.

Blame Bill Gates for this! Graduate commits suicide after fight with mother [ColomboPage News Desk, Sri Lanka] Nov 26, Colombo: A 26-year-old graduate in microbiology committed suicide by drinking insecticide as she was angry and hurt that her mother had given her computer mouse to a relative. The deceased, Weerasingham Kamalini from Colombo 13, hails from a family of six children. Although the mother, who was scolded by the daughter, retrieved the mouse, she was too late to prevent her daughter from committing suicide. Spotter: Ranil Bibile

Dead men do tell tales!(or Registrar Hora!) 'Dead' accused appears in court (Daily News 25-11-2002) Ratnapura group correspondent An accused in a murder case reported dead was produced in court by Ratnapura police recently. R. N. M. Ratnayake indicted with murder at Pompakele, Ratnapura, had jumped bail and disappeared. As he was subsequently reported dead, court decided to hear the case exparte. On the day of the hearing, police produced Ratnayake to the surprise of the judge, the Bar and the jury. Police said that Ratnayake was taken into custody in Dambulla where he had been hiding. Judge, H. N. J. Perera ordered the accused to be remanded till the final determination of the case and directed the police to produce the Registrar of Deaths and the surety who stood bail before court. Spotter: Vinod Moonesinghe.

Dr Struckov sticks needles. Origin of acupuncture?:World medicos explore Kitulgala (Sunday Observer 24-11-2002) Medical scientists and doctors from 140 countries will visit Kitulgala, the pre-historic site of origin of acupuncture, in the course of the World Congress of Integrated Medicine being held in Colombo later this week, a congress communique said. They will be transported in a fleet of luxury Benz cars especially imported for the purpose. Acupuncture was practised over 30,000 years ago in Beli Lena cave habitat of Balangoda Humans in Kitulgala, before this healing method reached Europe and China, according to the Congress communique. The World Congress, which opens at the BMICH, Colombo, on Wednesday, will mark the 40th anniversary of the International Medicina Alternativa organisation. The Director-General of the Post-Graduate Institute of Medicine, Professor J. B. Peiris, Professor Carlo Fonseka (The old fraud!- Ed) and Professor Denis Aloysius are among the distinguished speakers at the congress which will be chaired by Dr. Anton Jayasuriya, the world renowned acupuncturist who, the communique states, has been struck off the rolls of the Sri Lankan medical profession by the Sri Lanka Medical Council. (Shurely shome mishtake! - Ed) Spotter: Vinod Moonesinghe.

Cheap Funeral Corpse 'Rests in peace' at customs warehouse (Sunday Observer 24-11-2002) The Customs officials were in for a rude shock on Saturday when they opened a package lying at a warehouse in Colombo and discovered a mighty (sic) decomposed body of a woman packed neatly in a sealed polythene cover. The Custom's Baggage and the Narcotics Director, S. Ramachandran who was informed of the discovery had then directed the officers to inform the Maradana police to investigate into the matter. According to Custom sources the baggage had been lying at the warehouse for the past two and a half years, consigned from Kuwait to a person at Narammala. Although the Customs officials on a numerous occasions had informed the consignees concerned, to clear the Cargo there had been no response whatsoever. (Surprise! surprise! - Ed) The officials said the addresses mentioned in the package was fictitious and nobody turned out to claim the Cargo. (Another surprise there! - Ed) The Maradana police who took over the investigation had already sent the corpse to the Medical Legal morgue till investigations are completed. Meanwhile the Maradana police have appealed to the public to assist the police to identify the body. Spotter: Vinod Moonesinghe.

This guy has been drinking! Wijewardana meteorite flops by Anton Nonis (Sunday Observer 24-11-2002) Lalith Wijewardana, who had predicted that a meteorite would strike in Nittambuwa in the Gampaha district, is a bit disappointed that his prediction has not materialised so far. But an earthquake rocked Northern Pakistan last Friday causing severe damages to life and property. He had earlier forecast earthquakes in various parts of the world. Wijewardana predicted the meteorite landing three weeks ago. He said that the event would occur in a few days from the time it was announced early this month. Now, over 21 days have lapsed with no signs of a meteorite landing in Sri Lanka. People in Nittambuwa and various other parts of the country have on and off inquired about the meteoritic hit as they are very keen to know what a meteorite is in the first instance and the other interesting features linked with meteorites. People are keen to know-especially those in Nittambuwa and other surrounding areas - about what precautionary measures they should take if such an event were to occur. When posed with this question, Wijewardana said that he was sure as the lines on his palm indicated that it would occur and there was no doubt about it. However, he wishes to make some amendment in the forecast. He says that his subsequent analyses had indicated that the meteorite would strike within the next three months. He has now fixed the deadline for the strike as January 31, 2003. "It will be anytime within the period upto January 31," he said. When asked on what basis he had made predictions about meteorite strikes and earthquakes, Wijewardana said that he could not clearly explain it, but he had foreseen such events occurring, mainly through intuition. Spotter: Vinod Moonesinghe.

In the Sri Lanka Engrishy getting badder! 'Teecher' can't spell By S.S.Selvanayagam (Daily Mirror 8-11-2002) A child who was allegedly thrown out of a Matale school because his father showed that an English teacher did not know English is to be admitted to a Kandy school as a temporary compromise. A state counsel appearing for a Central province Education Director in this Fundamental Rights case assured the Supreme Court yesterday the child would be admitted to Kingswood College from Monday. In this case 9-year old student Shanaka and his father Rowland Silva had filed a petition alleging that the principal of St. Thomas', Matale had unjustly dismissed the child. The father said that when going through his child's English workbook, he had found that the teacher had marked as correct more than 25 words which had been wrongly spelt. Mr. Silva said he had complained to the principal but when he and his wife had taken the child to school, last month he saw the principal holding the child by the neck and virtually pushing him out of the school. Spotter: Ranil Bibile

Man buys a maternity bra! Wife's death leaves Sri Lankan man with breast feeding duties PIC COLOMBO, Oct 30 (AFP) - A 38-year-old Sri Lankan man, whose wife died three months ago, appears to have the ability to breast feed his two infant children, doctors told a local newspaper Wednesday. B. Wijeratne from the central town of Walapone, 116 miles (186 kilometres) from the capital Colombo lost his wife when she died giving birth to their second child. "My eldest daughter refused to be fed on powdered milk liquid in the feeding bottle," he said according to the Sinhalese-language daily Lankadeepa. "I was so moved one evening and to stop her crying I offered my breast. I then realised that I was capable of breast feeding her," Wijeratne said. Dr Kamal Jayasinghe, deputy director of a government hospital in the northwestern town of Kurunegala, was quoted in the Lankadeepa as saying that it was possible for men to produce breast milk if the prolactine hormone became hyperactive. (Next minute he will start menstruating! - Ed) Spotter: Nimal "Thataya" Perera

Tarts on wheels! Mobile brothel raided Oct 29, Colombo:(Lankapage 29-10-2002)Grandpass Police have taken into custody a luxury van used as a mobile brothel at the Ingurukade junction. The main suspect, who is alleged to have run the business for eight years after the death of her husband, is the mother of one child. She had enticed women from far off areas to work for her clients, who are persons living and working in and around Colombo.

WHOOPS! Wrong Army!  Soldier ends up in LTTE office (SL Army News 29-10-2002) A newly recruited Army soldier (19), who was on his way to JAFFNA town has unknowingly arrived at an LTTE office in KOKKUVIL, about 6 km north of JAFFNA town on 27 October 2002 following directions given to him by a resident civilian in the area. The soldier in question has allegedly told the LTTE that he was subjected to harassment. The hierarchy at the LTTE office has however handed over the soldier to the Human Rights Commission (HRC) in JAFFNA which in turn has given the soldier back to the Security Forces Headquarters in JAFFNA. Military Police are conducting further investigations.

Anyone for dried jackal? Detection of dried animal body parts: Passengers warned by Sarath Malalasekera(Daily News 23-10-2002) The Customs Narcotic Control Unit who is conducting investigations into the detection of dried animal body parts yesterday severely warned the passengers including two women and released them after confiscating the goods which were imported illegally. Customs at the Katunayake International Airport during the week-end detected nearly four kilos of dried animal body parts including tiger teeth and nails, elephant hair and seven jackal heads hidden in the false bottom of a travelling bag belonging to foreign nationals who arrived here in a Sri Lankan Airlines flight from Trichy.

Elowa Gihin Melowa Awa! Dead man tells terrible tale Hadley Chase thriller, double game and insurance scam leave mother dead By Tania Fernando (Daily Mirror 20-Oct 2002) A real life case with pages from a detective thriller where a dead youth comes alive after a tragedy staged for multi-million rupee insurance has ended in real tragedy with the mother of the key player actually dying of shock. The serial thriller appears to be too fantastic to be true. It allegedly began when 31-year-old Udayakantha Jayathilake and his wife, residents of Britain for several years, apparently got an idea of doing a little bit of what Emil Saundaranayagam had done decades ago. They wanted to take British insurance for a ride and they might have done so if not for a smart brain not in Britain but in the medical faculty of the Peradeniya University. According to the pieces put together by police detectives, the story went like this: Udayakantha Jayathilake and his wife, in pursuance of their massive insurance claim, came back to Sri Lanka some months ago and allegedly staged a robbery and killing at Habarana on June 3. Everything appeared to be brilliantly stage-managed - a burnt car with a body inside, a weeping widow complaining to the police, expensive items reported missing and all that. Ms. Jayathilake, also allegedly playing a key role in the drama, had complained to the police that her husband was missing from June 3 after he went to Dambulla to buy some antique furniture. Soon after, the police received information that a vehicle was found burning in the Habarana area. The tip-off also appeared to be part of chasing the crooked shadows. The police went to the scene, saw a body in the burning vehicle and called the Jayathilake family. On to the scene came the third suspect - Mr. Jayathilake's brother. He identified the body as that of Udayakantha. DIG Ananda Jayasekera said that to give crime book credibility to the operation, the victim's wallet had also allegedly been placed on the scene with his identity and credit cards to further substantiate the case. To back up the claim of robbery and killing, the family members said a modern camera and other expensive items were not in the burning car which he had hired from a rent-a-car company to go to Habarana. Almost everything appeared to be in place for a gang robbery and killing and it was probably only as a mere formality that the skeletal remains were sent to the Peradeniya medical faculty for further tests, while the insurance papers were sent out fast. The brains behind the crime were leaving nothing to chance. The British High Commission was also informed that a British resident back here on holiday had been killed. Five months passed by and then the wheel of death turned the other way. Forensic experts at the Peradeniya University replayed the whole drama with the shocking disclosure that the skeletal remains found in the burning car at Habarana were not of Udayakantha Jayathilake but of a woman. The Police then set in operation the third part of the drama. They sent detectives to secretly watch the Jayathilake home and find more clues on the alleged double game. It paid off and Udyakantha who had stayed under cover for some months was arrested when he emerged from his Kandy hideout to go to Colombo. The camera and other personal items, which his wife complained to be missing from the burnt vehicle, had also been found in his possession, police said. Udayakantha, his wife and brother were produced in court while police are looking for a fourth suspect who also played a role by finding a body to be put in the burning car. (Try the local grave digger! - Ed) On Friday, the crime fiction thriller took a horrifyingly tragic twist. Udayakantha and the other suspects were produced in the Polonnaruwa Magistrate's Court and granted bail. Among those who had come there was Udayakantha's mother who since June had been mourning and weeping over the death of her son, who had all the time been hiding in Kandy. Seeing her dead son alive was apparently too much for the aged mother. She collapsed and died soon after seeing her son. Nothing was well and no one ended well.

From our regular spotters: Vinod Moonesinghe, Ranil Bibile and Kumaran

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