SCN SCN Srilanka Crazy News Vol 42 We weed out the serious news! dotINDEX
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No respect for the robe
Drunken gang attacks prelate
By Senaka De Silva (Daily Mirror 11-1-2003)
The Chief Sanganayaka of the Amarapura Nikaya in Matara was allegedly assaulted and his van damaged by a drunken gang when he was returning from a religious function at Kirigala on Thursday. Tangalla acting ASP Anura Dias Senanayaka said the Ven Beragama Vimalajothi Thera and two companions including the driver of the van had been assaulted by the gang after a dispute on the highway where one vehicle had tried to overtake the other. He said two members of the gang were arrested and remanded while the police were looking for the son of a Pradeshiya Sabha member.  
Rescuers rescued
Night of turmoil at Akbar Hall

(Daily Mirror 11-1-2003)
Five security officers and several lecturers who had gone to halt ragging of freshers at the Akbar hall of the Peradeniya University were allegedly locked up in a room and held hostage by the students from 11pm on Thursday upto 5 am yesterday. Peradeniya police Inspector M. S. Bowala said the chief security officer and four other security staff had gone to the Hall when the students were demanding the removal of their warden. The students had then set upon the security men and locked them up till police rescued them. State radio quoted the Vice Chancellor as saying tough action would be taken against those involved in this latest outbreak of ragging.
 Police Hora! Again!
SI caught with stolen weapons [ColomboPage News Desk, Sri Lanka] Jan 09, Colombo: Dambulla police who apprehended a gang that had seized a van were in for a shock when a Sub-Inspector of Police was one of the culprits. Further investigation revealed a stock of modern arms and ammunition that the SI had prepared to be sold to an underworld gang.
Shurely shome mistake!
Sinhala Tiger flees LTTE
By Senaka De Silva (Daily Mirror 1-1 2003)
A Sinhala villager who joined the LTTE, then deserted it and was later arrested by the rebels, escaped from captivity and surrendered to the Vavuniya police.
Vavuniya OIC Kapila Bandara said the man identified as T. Wijedasa joined the LTTE in 1991 and lost his leg in a fight with the security forces.
He deserted the LTTE in 1994 and escaped to Colombo but was soon kidnapped by LTTE operatives. He was later kept in an LTTE detention centre where he was tortured. The man has been admitted to Vavuniya hospital for treatment.
Both from the Daily Mirror 19-12-2002  
 Ordination for all Buddhists
By Pujitha Wijetunge The Buddhist Cultural Centre (BCC) is to introduce temporary ordination, as in other Theravada countries, to Sri Lanka to uplift the morals of society .
The President of the BCC Ven. Kirima Vimalajothi Thera addressing a press conference held in this regard said that their movement had decided to give two weeks ordination to people between 20 - 40 years
(Corr to Ed: Are Ed and Corr beyond redemption?
Robber monks produced in court
By Kurulu Kariyakarawana & P D Sarath Chinthaka Three monks who had been engaged in collecting money from the public allegedly on the pretext of a worthy cause were produced before Wattala Magistrate Rumi Marzook yesterday and remanded.
OIC Crimes Wattala W Navaratne told the Daily Mirror that two of the monks were from a temple at Dematagoda and the other from Sri Pada temple. The police recovered a golden chain of eight and a half sovereigns, three golden rings each weighing one sovereign and cash Rs. 4760 in their possession. It was reported that Rs. 27,000 of the collected money was deposited in a bank account. The monks had been collecting funds from Wattala, Hendala, Ja-Ela and Kandana areas, allegedly for two charitable organisations at Dematagoda and Jampettah street. They were trapped when they went to a shop owned by the chief dayaka of the Wattala-Hendala Puran Raja Maha Viharaya, who was told by the monks that they are collecting money for a worthy cause at Hendala temple. He who would be the first person to be aware of such an occasion became suspicious about the monks and handed them over to the temple's chief incumbent . . It was reported that these monks had earlier been associated to a temple but later left and allegedly begun a life of thieving.
Women's lib!
Wife assaults husband

(Daily Mirror 17-12-2002)

Ujitha Chandani Weerasinghe of Kobbekaduma, Yatinuwara hit her husband Anura Kulatunge (42) a father of three children with a pestle for alleged indecent behaviour.
The wife was provoked when the husband told her that he wished to live with her sister. He had been going after other women, too.
Brahhmma chariya veramani sicca padang....etc
Man in yellow robes elopes

By Senaka De Silva (Daily Mirror 17-12-2002)
The Hettipola Police have arrested a man in yellow robes for having eloped with a 17-year-old girl.
HQI Hettipola police Ananda Ratnasooriya said the couple had a close friendship some years earlier when the girl attended Daham school.
Last Friday after the girl had completed her O/Level examination she had been asked to come to the temple and the couple had eloped.
The girl has been admitted to hospital for a medical report while the suspect was bailed out in Rs. 25,000.
Garbage in, garbage out!
Dirty trick by woman prisoner
(Daily Mirror 16-12-2002)
Two female prison guards attached to the Negombo prison have been interdicted after a woman prisoner being held for drug smuggling escaped on Saturday. HQI Negombo police, Dammika Dayananda said the prisoner had been hiding in a garbage can from which she escaped once it had been taken out of the prison premises.
Dear John.....
Ten-foot love letter fails win the heart

[ColomboPage News Desk, Sri Lanka] Dec 11, Colombo: A Naval rating serving in the North wrote a 10-foot, 3-inch love letter to his girlfriend in Kalutara.
But within days of receiving the letter, the girl, said to have just reached 16 years, eloped with his brother.
The Naval rating had written the letter in an exercise book and pasted together the pages before mailing it to the girl. The mother of the girl found the letter after her daughter had eloped.
COLOMBO, Dec 10 (AFP) - Sri Lankan President Chandrika Kumaratunga has accused the prime minister of trying to assassinate her and said the country cannot progress with the present government.
Kumaratunga told her party supporters on Sunday that Prime Minister Ranil Wickremesinghe had carried a gun and threatened to kill her if she did not cooperate with the political cohabitation arrangement.

"The prime minister of this country is threatening the president saying 'I will throw your people in jail. I will kill your people. I will throw your security guards in jail... "'Now he brings a gun and says 'I will kill you'. I swear to God, he said it," Kumaratunga said in her speech, a copy of which was obtained by AFP Tuesday.

Kumaratunga's spokesman Harim Peiris said he had no immediate comment on the president's remarks broadcast over Sinhalese-language national television late Monday.
"Some of these meetings are political events which are not open for journalists to cover, but some may have gone in," Peiris said. "I was not at the meeting and I have not seen the tape."
Officials said Kumaratunga made the remarks at a school scholarship distribution ceremony in her home constituency of Gampaha district.
There was no immediate reaction from the government to the president's latest allegation against the administration.
Original AFP story
To be fair to the El Presidente we publish the ColomboPage version of events (see below).

We at believe that this whole business can be explained on the basis of translation or mistranslation of Sinhala into Engrishy! (There is of course the added complication of the SriLankan tendency to exxagerate!)

Prime Minister threatened me on three occasions - President [ColomboPage News Desk, Sri Lanka] Dec 10, Colombo: President Chandrika Kumaratunga has claimed that Prime Minister Ranil Wickremasinghe threatened her on three occasions, asking her to form a national government.
Addressing a felicitation ceremony at the Nittambuwa Siyane College of Education on Sunday, the President said that she would not agree to a national government even if the Prime Minister threatened her at gunpoint.
(That is the first mention of the gun! - Ed)
The President said that when she had complained to the Prime Minister for the third time regarding these injustices, he had replied that all would come to an end if they govern together.
President Kumaratunga asked the Prime Minister whether he was trying to take her over by force and added that it would not work.
She also said that she would not bow down even if the Prime Minister pulls out a gun (second mention of gun - Ed) from his pocket (mention of pocket - Ed) and threatens her.
The President further claimed that signs of a unilateral and autocratic rule are emerging from behind the screen of peace, adding that she had hoped this would not happen.
35% of teenagers think AIDS is transmitted by mosquito [ColomboPage News Desk, Sri Lanka]
(Partly correct! It is usually caused by a prick! - Ed)
Ministry of Silly Bags
Sili Sili
(Daily Mirror 6-12-2002)The use of sili sili shopping bags is to be banned soon, Environment Minister Rukman Senanayake announced in parliament yesterday. Speaking during the debate on the vote for his Ministry, Mr. Senanayake said the ban on sili sili bags would be part of the plan to combat the polythene menace and the major environmental problems arising from it.
Bus Service Improves!
Bus hijack by school boys
By Senaka De Silva (Daily Mirror 7-12-2002) Five boys in a leading school at Bandarawela went far beyond the school bus levels when they stole a bus from the depot on Thursday night, police said. The school boys were among those sitting the GCE ordinary level examinations but the bus hijack was not part of the test. According to police the boys had got into the parked bus and brazenly driven away. Road blocks were set up and the bus was tracked down. The school boys claimed they had hijacked the bus because some one had promised to give them a big sum for it. They were produced before the Bandarawela Magistrate and remanded.
Eelamistan News
Women banned from watching teledramas
[ColomboPage News Desk, Sri Lanka] Dec 07, Colombo: The LTTE has ordered women in the Vavuniya district to refrain from watching teledramas on television. The LTTE leadership, addressing a conference of government servants in the Vavuniya district held at the Town Hall, had given this order as it feels that women should only watch programmes suitable for housewives. Referring to the increasingly important role played by women in society, the leadership has urged them to be more active and dynamic in society.
Spotters: Ranil Bibile

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