| crazylanka.com | 
SCN Srilanka Crazy News Vol 48
We weed out the serious news! |
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| SCN, Srilanka Crazy News and the slogan "We weed out the serious news" are trademarks of the SCN/ MadPage/ McMaluPaan Corp. | |||
| TSUNAMI
BULLSH*T What the Sri Lankan and World Media said about the Tsunami Dec 2004  |
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| The Aussie Caveman Is Here! | ||||
| Australian volunteer at Pereliya by Fred Silva
Jinasena, Telwatte group corr.(Daily News 19th April 2005) An Australian volunteer has arrived in Pereliya to look after rebuilding work on the tsunami hit disaster. He is Don Paterson, a retired Army engineer from Australia is now engaging in performing voluntary operations as officer-in-charge of Pereliya. He is responsible for day-to-day running of the village Pereliya. Don Paterson the head of the rebuilding project suddenly fell sick last March and was in Apollo Hospital, Colombo for a couple of weeks. Afterwards he went to Australia to obtain more medical facilities and back again to Pereliya in the end of March. According to Paterson almost all foreigners from USA, Germany, Austria, UK, Ireland etc; are engaging their voluntary services such as drainage, re-vegetation, soil retention, road path infrastructure and coordinating volunteer labour services by foreigners. Paterson is always walking around the village area with a six feet (sic! - Ed) club in hand and he is the most popular foreign figure in the village of Pereliya. |
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| Psst!Wanna Buy A Used Buddhist Temple? | ||||
| Canadian Buddhist temple sold to benefit tsunami victims Jan 15 (AP) A small Buddhist congregation has sold one of its temples to raise money for tsunami victims. Abbot Thick Nguyen handed the Canadian Red Cross a check Monday for $500,000 (US$405,000), representing the entire proceeds from the sale of the Vietnamese Buddhist Congregation's temple in the town east of Vancouver in the Fraser Valley. | ||||
| Spot The Resemblance Competition! No Prizes! | ||||
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| How Sad Darling! | ||||
| Sri Lankan Journalists also suffered immensely due
to tsunami Alladin Hussein in Colombo, January 14, 2005, 11.57 p.m.. More than 20 Sri Lankan journalists had been injured due to last month’s tsunami, while two reporters are still reported missing. Some 120journalist families had been displaced, due to the tidal terror. Officials estimated that damage caused to journalist at approximately Rs. 20 million. Nearly 50 houses of provincial journalists had been completely destroyed. While 53 still cameras, 7 television cameras, 3 fax machines, 16 cassette recorders, 11 motor bicycles, 3 bicycles and 5 mobile phones were either lost or damaged during the coverage of the scenes of the disaster or while kept at home. Nearly 1000 members of 121 families of provincial journalists are displaced and are staying in camps or with their friends or relatives, newspaper reports noted today. Ninety-seven of the injured journalists belong to the print media while the balance are attached to the electronic media. |
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| Buddha vs Christ: Who Wins The Tsunami Bullshit Stakes? | ||||
 Buddha Survives Tsunami (Buddha is the small orange coloured object near the middle of the pic. The tall structure is a coconut tree.) |
The battle between Buddhists and Christians
intensify as intact statues are found! Left: A statue of Buddha sits among the ruins of a collapsed temple on the coastal road near the village of Hikkaduwa, southern Sri Lanka, January 13, 2005. The Sri Lankan government reckons it will cost between $1.3 billion to $1.5 billion to rebuild tsunami-devastated areas along the Indian Ocean island's southern, eastern and northern seaboard, where nearly 31,000 people were killed when the waves hit on December 26. REUTERS/Yves Herman Reuters - Jan 13 4:36 AM Right: Sri Lankan residents look for religious icons in the rubble of a church(AFP/Jean-Philippe Ksiazek) AFP - Jan 11 9:26 PM Maybe we should worship coconut trees! - Ed |
 Christ Survives Tsunami (Christ is the odd shaped thing to the left of the pic. Note looters in middle of what remains of the church) |
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| Floor Wiped With Tsunami Victim's Face Shock! | ||||
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| Baron Munchausen Lives! | ||||
| Saved by a crocodile
by Sharm de Alwis (Daily News 11-1-2005) Upali Gunasekera is a man of strapping Herculean proportions but now in his mid 70s and afflicted with a spinal ailment and cellulitis he has abandoned his youthful frolicks when he would drive his favourite Daimler. He now prefers to travel by bus the hundred miles to Colombo. Upali lives on a well appointed spot of land in "Matara, overlooking the estuary of the Nilwala river, the Fort and the sea. In the sprawling house were his sister and his menagerie of dogs. Often in the late afternoons, he would sit on the lawn and a crocodile from the estuary would visit him and eye him in grim melancholy. Upali would converse with the croc and say, "I know why you have come here. You have come to take away my dogs. " After a lengthy period of silent togetherness and having basked in the glowing sun the croc would pour himself into the waters and disappear. On the fateful Sunday after Christmas, Upali who was strolling in the garden was swept away by the tsunami tidal wave. His sister climbed the stairs, removed some roof tiles and gingerly walked the roof top to safety. But Upali was awash. He clutched a floating stool with one hand and a chair with the other to keep himself afloat. Another wave rocked the stool off his grip and as he grabbed the chair to his bosom he saw a log moving towards him. He hung on to the log for dear life. But there was something strange about this log. It had a scaly surface and was no ordinary log. It was a crocodile. As he began to despair he felt his belly being nudged and he was pushed a good half a kilometer towards the embankment. There he lay for some time through sheer exhaustion, having been in the waters from 9.20 in the morning to 4.30 in the afternoon, an ordeal of seven hours for an elderly man who has to resort to crutches on dry land. And then he heard human voices, "Yakko, he's not dead. Pull him out". Mercifully, Upali, with the help of the crocodile who would frequently visit him for unilateral conversation, is alive today. |
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| Mass Conversions Taking Place!? | ||||
| Buddhists open temple to homeless Catholics BY DON MELVIN COX NEWS SERVICE KUDA PAYAGALA, Sri Lanka - It was Sunday morning and, in this deeply religious land, almost everyone was in church. But Gerard Perera was on the beach preparing for his day as a fisherman. "I saw the tide was coming inland," he said, "and I shouted. I ran to the church. My family was in the church, celebrating the Sunday Mass." All along the road in this area, 35 miles south of Colombo, Sri Lanka's capital, lies evidence of the force of nature's wrath. The earthquake-induced tsunamis that struck this south Asian island last Sunday turned houses to kindling and swept cars and trucks into the forest. Concrete walls were demolished, foundations swept clean of the homes they once supported. The road is littered with the shards of fishing boats. But whatever the force of those waves, many people in Sri Lanka think faith is just as powerful. Perera believes God alerted him to the coming tsunamis and directed him to warn the others. Those who were not already in the Santa Maria Catholic Church ran to it when they heard his cries. And as the people of this coastal area huddled inside it, their homes were flattened while the church was spared. "I cannot swim," said Bhacy Fernando, a 49-year-old mother of three. "So I am 100 percent sure that if I had stayed in my home, I would have gone under." The church withstood the force of the waves but the danger was not over. The water was rising. The parish priest told the congregation to seek higher ground. Go, he said, to the temple. The people ran from the church, across the road and up the hill to the Buddhist temple. There they were welcomed by the Rev. Malegoda Nanda, the priest who presides over the complex.... |
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| What's That Got to Do with Him? Is he Running The Government? | ||||
| Govt. taking all steps to help tsunami victims - Maha Nayake Thera
by L.B. Wijayasiri in Trincomalee (Daily News 4-1-2005) Most. Ven. Thibbotuwawe Sri Sidhartha Sumangala Mahanayake Thera of the Malwatte Maha Vihara Chapter said in Trincomalee on Sunday, that the Government was taking all possible steps to help those people suffering owing to the recent tsunami disaster. In that the government is treating the people of the South, the North and East alike without discrimination. |
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| Is This A Miracle? | ||||
| Sri Lanka's southern Catholics celebrate return of statue
Jan 4 (AFP) Sri Lankan Catholics in the southern town of Matara have celebrated the return of a statue that disappeared during the Asian tsunami disaster only to be found days later unscathed. Around 100 Catholics held mass on Sunday at the Our Lady of Matara Shrine. (Statues are made of plaster, stone or concrete! Human beings are not! - Ed) |
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| What He Doing There? | ||||
| Chief Justice goes South Sunday, January 2, 2005, 16:15 GMT, ColomboPage News Desk, Sri Lanka. Jan 02, Colombo: Sri Lanka's Chief Justice Sarath N. Silva has visited tsunami-hit areas in the southern part of the country along with 30 judicial officers. He conducted magisterial inquiries into the deaths of several persons who were the unfortunate victims of the tsunami. (What good does that do?- Ed) He also directed the police to issue death certificates to close relatives without undue delay. |
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| They Have Schools in Britain? | ||||
| British girl saved tourists thanks to school
lesson LONDON (Reuters) - A 10-year-old British girl saved 100 other tourists from the Asian tsunami having warned them a giant mass of water was on its way after learning about the phenomenon weeks earlier at school. "I was on the beach and the water started to go funny," Tilly Smith told the Sun at the weekend from Phuket, Thailand. "There were bubbles and the tide went out all of a sudden. I recognised what was happening and had a feeling there was going to be a tsunami. I told mummy." |
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| Cheap fish! | ||||
| Seafood off menus in Sri Lanka amid fears fish fed on corpses
Jan 2 (AFP) Seafood has disappeared off Sri Lankan dinner tables with people fearful of eating fish that may have been feeding on corpses washed out to sea by last week’s tsunami, shopkeepers said on Sunday. |
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| Old Fraud Claims He Saw Tsunami Coming | ||||
| Clarke foresaw tsunami attack on Sri Lanka in 1957
Dec 31 (HT) The renowned science fiction writer and futurologist Sir Arthur Clarke says that he had written about a tsunami wave attack on Sri Lanka way back in 1957 in his first book on Sri Lanka entitled: The Reefs of Taprobane. |
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| What? No Beer? | ||||
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Lankan brewery ditches beer for water Dec 31 (AP) A Sri Lankan brewery has given up making beer and switched to bottled water to do its part to help survivors of the Indian Ocean tsunami, the relief group Oxfam International said on Thursday. The Lion Brewery plant in Colombo, has so far produced 120,000 bottles of water for shipment to the affected areas, with Oxfam's help. |
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| Don't Mention The War, Helmut! You guys lost! | ||||
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Kohl: Sri Lanka destruction like
World War II bombing |
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| We Win War? | ||||
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War with LTTE seems remote, says
Chandrika |
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| Moustache Shaved Off! | ||||
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Sri Lanka Leader Leaves Tsunami
Meeting Right: The Moustache got an arse-kickin' in Velvettithurai. |
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| Prabhakaran Washed Out To Sea Shock? | ||||
| Mystery of
Missing Prabhakaran: Where is he? Dec 30 (AT) One of the biggest mysteries in the wake of the tsunami that hit Sri Lanka is the missing leader of the Tamil Tigers, Velupillai Prabhakaran. The tsunami hit the area where he was hiding – ie. Mullativiu which is on the eastern coast near Trincomalee harbour – with full force on Boxing Day and he has not been seen or heard since then. |
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| Bush Knows How To Use Telephone? | ||||
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Bush telephones Ms Kumaratunge to
express shock, concern |
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| People Killed But Statues Safe! | ||||
| No Buddha
statues damaged in tsunami by Asanga Warnakulasuriya (Daily News 30-12-2004) A survey by the Buddha Sasana Ministry in Kalutara, Galle, Matara and Hambantota districts had revealed that not a single Buddha statue in those districts had been damaged in Sunday's tidal waves which caused severe damage to other property. Minister of Public Security, Law and Order and Buddhasasana Minister, Ratnasiri Wickremanayake said yesterday that although most temples in those districts were devastated by tidal waves, Buddha statues in temples were unharmed. "It's quite remarkable how Buddha statues were preserved in such extreme conditions where other property crumbled down to earth," Minister said. "According to reports we have received so far only Ven. Meegoda Pannaloka Thera had fallen victim to the tidal waves and died," the Minister said. A survey had also revealed that 39 temples in the above districts were badly damaged by the tidal waves. The ministry has estimated that Rs. 36 million needs to be allocated to reconstruct the temples in four districts. The Government has already allocated Rs. 4.5 million, the Minister said. |
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| Monks Back To Basics of Buddhism! | ||||
| Bhikkus
beg alms in support of tsunami victims by Chamikara Weerasinghe The city of Colombo gleamed with yellow robes yesterday as Buddhist monks from Mahamevuna and distant forest monasteries, went from house to house with their alms-bowls, begging alms from householders in keeping with their ancient Buddhist tradition. The round of alms-begging continued until 12 noon with a request to rally as one nation to help the Tsunami victims and not to forget the disaster in a couple of weeks or months. The Bhikkhus were led by Ven. Kiribathgoda Gnanananda Thera. Among them were Viharadhipathi of Washington Vihara Ven. Maharagama Dhammasiri Thera, Ven. Pitiduwe Siridhamma Thera, Ven. Kolonnawe Sumangala Thera and 50 monastery Bhikkhus. The bhikkhus set off from the Asapuwa at the Sulaiman Terrace with their alms-bowls. Chief Justice Sarath N. Silva and Inspector General of Police were also present. The bhikkhus went from house to house and begged alms through the passage across Thimbirigasyaya junction until they reached Kollupitiya. Ven. Kiribathgoda Gnanananda Thera told the Daily News that they were determined to build houses for tidal wave victims throughout the country from Colombo to Jaffna. Commenting on the disaster, he said the sea had given signal to us that we should abstain from all evil actions and set on the path of righteousness. "We asked the people to extend their kindness to tsunami victims," the Thera said. |
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