VOLUME 8 {short description of image} SCN SRILANKA CRAZY NEWS
SCN: WE WEED OUT THE SERIOUS NEWS! {short description of image}INDEX

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FREE LUNCH
{short description of image} The Island Tuesday 7th August , 2001 (Opinion column, follow up to GMOA food poisoning story. See Vol 2 for original story {short description of image}).....the GMOA had come to an amicable settlement with the hoteliers concerned by recovering the Rs. 500.00 paid by each doctor and accepting an undertaking to provide catering free of charge in the next annual dinner. Meanwhile the same caterer is carrying on regardless. Suppose at the next annual dinner, the "Salmonella" appears again, what then the GMOA would do? (Simple! Get another year's catering free! Good thinking chaps! - Ed)
GOMA
{short description of image} GMOA wants 100 per cent salary increase for public servants. The Government Medical Officers Association (GMOA) yesterday called on the government to grant a 100 per cent salary increase to all public servants (note that? ALL! all? All public servants! Not just Doctors! EVERYONE! How generous! etc -Ed)
(Well done chaps! Good thinking! The richer our patients are the more we can extract out of them! Nice to know that the GOMA is still alive and well. We, i.e. The Editorial Staff, used to be members of the GOMA at one time!-Ed)
NEVER TRUST GODS
{short description of image} New tri-shaw worth Rs. 180,000 stolen
'The Island' of 4th August 2001 Induruwa Divaina corr.
A newly bought tri-shaw, after obtaining blessings of god for its protection was robbed at the devalaya premises, Alutgama police said. A businessman of Warapitiya of Aluthgama had bought this tri-shaw for Rs. 180,000 and gone to the Devalaya to offer poojas. After the religious performances when the businessman came out he found that his tri-shaw had been stolen. Aluthgama police are conducting investigations. (Don't trust the Polis either!- Ed)
Contributed by Vinod Moonesighe
HAUTE CUISINE
{short description of image} He robbed necklace as he preferred jail for his food...
'The Island' of 4th August 2001 Divaina Maggona corr. D. Antony Andradi.
Kalutara Magistrate Amal Ranaraja remanded a man who allegedly snatched a necklace worth about Rs. 4000 from a woman. Aluthgama police reported to court that the suspect had committed the offence while the woman was coming from the temple. The suspect had told the police that his wife had gone abroad and he had no income to live. If he received a jail term he would be provided with food and other facilities. It was because of this that he robbed the necklace to go to jail, police said. ("Case dismissed!" said the Mag - Ed )
Contributed by Vinod Moonesighe
For a few rupees more...
{short description of image} Sri Lankan puts in his two cents' worth to abandon wife
Aug 1 (Reuters) A Sri Lanka man tried to get rid of his unfaithful wife by transferring her to her lover and paying two rupees (two U.S. cents) in state taxes to give the transaction legal validity, a newspaper reported on Wednesday. The man got his wife's lover (Hora Miniha! - Ed) to sign a transfer document complete with a two rupee stamp only to find that police in the central town of Badulla were not willing to enforce the deal, the independent Daily Mirror said.
Rest of the story{short description of image}
Chandrika and Ranil in love?
{short description of image} UNP decides not to send Ranil for talks with the President
ColomboPage News Desk, Sri Lanka August 01, (2001)
Colombo: The United National Party's 'think-tank' today decided not to send party leader Ranil Wickramasinghe for any future talks with President Chandrika Kumarathunga.
The President extended her invitation to Mr. Wickramasinghe last week for talks on the country’s present political turmoil but the party 'think-tank' decided to send UNP chairman Charitha Ratwatte instead.
However, the President cancelled the appointment at the last minute and asked for a convenient time from Mr. Wickramasinghe again.
(Note that bit! Again! We wonder: Are they in love with each other? Read about our school days together! - Ed)

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